Dealing with grief

Dealing with grief takes time. It is less than a month and at times when i think of my mom my eyes fill with tears. When my friends ask how i am, my eyes fill with tears cos i am thinking of my mom and I miss her. And even now my eyes are filled with tears. I miss her. I think of the happy times we had and I am glad for them but I still wish she was around so that we can make more memories. Her passing was sudden....I neer expected it yet the signs were all there but how does one prepare for the death of a loved one? by denying it right? but it doesnt stop it from happening. and it doesnt take away the pain of the loss. I cant go out with friends cos I get sad when people ask me how I am, I go to the places we have been before and I think if only she is here now....i have not dealt with the loss fully....i have not really cried....but i am crying now....cos it is so sad...i am so sad...i am grieving. but i cant find comfort anywhere....cos i cant stand the pain....it hurts...and i know what grief is. it is even sadder than sad....many times over.